Thoughts that dare to escape.

A cry from the depths…

Jesus, what is it that You want from me? What kind of attitude do You want out of me? I need to know!!! I am so conflicted inside from so many directions. I don’t understand most things that has happened in my life, or what is happening right now. I’m okay with that. You are sovereign and Lord. I trust you. I just want wisdom and accountability. I need your wisdom and accountability. I need You!

How do I be Your girl fully and wholly, yet be a wife and a mom and a friend? I don’t understand how to juggle all of that. I am an all or nothing one. You made me that way. You know better than I, who I am. So how do I love and follow you with everything heartbeat yet love and serve my husband and family? What does that look like? I know the “do everything unto the Lord” routine, but how can I do it fully? How do I bring my heart in line with it all? I am continually reminded as I write this of Thomas A Kempis. Holy Spirit, please teach me these things. I want to be joyful in my prayer closet. I need to find joy, deep unwavering joy in spending time with You and taking our family before you! May that be my joy! May You be my joy!


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