Thoughts that dare to escape.

Trust = Love


Dreaming is one of my favorite pass times. I find myself doing a lot more of it these days. I also find myself getting frustrated with what I view as lack. Lack of knowledge. Lack of understanding. Lack of finances to go and do what I think would benefit me or our family. I heard it once said from my dear cousin that lack is language of unbelief. In Christ there is no lack. We have everything we need ready for us. We are to turn our view of lack into the vision of thankfulness. Always having praise on our lips. Gratitude for all that has been given, all thats available and all that will be given. We are to seek the Kings face, not just His hand.

20120229-010106.jpg To trust Yeshua fully with everything, including your dreams can feel so scary at times. Some years ago, the Lord told me that trust is the action of love. When we love someone, our parents, our spouse, our kids, our best friend there is never a question of trust unless that trust has ever been broken. With each degree of relationship and intimacy in each relationship, comes varying degrees of trust. With love comes trust. Period. So to measure my love and relationship with Yeshua, I check my trust scale. And I regretfully have to admit, it’s been on the bottom end for a while.

I yearn for the days of vibrant, extravagant love. The days that consisted of time spent in worship and admiration of Him and His kingdom. He was ask me to jump and I’d respond with, “How high, Lord?” I have a daughter now and those days seem to be fewer and farther between. It’s really amazing how much a person changes with marriage and child rearing. I’m definitely not as much of a risk taker as I once was.

“Lord, I long for your presence to be near. I yearn to feel your breath on my skin again. I miss feeling the contours of your face. Running my finger through your beard. The heartbeat that once lulled me to sleep has faded which has brought incredible insecurity. Please welcome me back to the inner chamber, your bed chambers. I want to know you deep and intimately. Please forgive my neglect and the allowance of love to grow cold. Please let me make it up to you.

“You are who I truly want. My one and only desire. Thank you for this amazing mantel of motherhood. Its the greatest responsibility and the deepest joy I’ve ever experienced. Thank you for all you given me. Thank you for my incredible daughter. She is one after your heart. Thank you for my husband who loves you more than I ever knew. He is one of the best gifts you’ve ever given me. Thank you. You are truly magnificent and wonderful and astounding. I long for no other. I need only your gaze to be in my direction for my heart to be whole. Please look my way. And give a smile, if your pleased with what you see. Yeshua, you alone are beautiful. Radiating glory and love. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me and my family. You have taken my breath away!”

Here is to 2012!

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